Upcoming Shows

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

From The Desk of Jacob Schultze - Arbiter of all relevant information pertaining to playing live at Trailer Space.

1. If you need monitors, GO FUCK YOURSELF and quit playing forever, pussy.

2. There are NO. D.I's. for your laptop, keyboard, bass etc. You should really be ashamed of yourself. Refer to rule number 1.

3. If you can do it in your practice space, you can probably do it here, if you cant..REFER TO RULE #1. GIVE UP!!

4. Trailer Space does not care about your perceived cred anymore than a Derfur War orphan would know who Steve Albini is. Get over it. No one cares, LEARN HOW TO COOK.

5. You brought a full stack to play in the record store? REFER TO RULE NUMBER ONE. (Tone matters fuck all when you have cleared the building)

6. Anyone playing a 5 string bass, or a Paul Reed Smith is BANNED. FOREVER. IN PERPETUITY.

7. What is experimental to you has probably been done a million times before. STOP BEING BORING.

8. The minifridge does not have "band beer", in fact, this phenomenon DOES NOT exist at Trailer Space. Go to the RS mart or the Soul Mart and BUY YOUR OWN.

9. Complaining is not ever an option. Shut up and get back in your mom's minivan. Smell the farts of the guy that screams for you or something.

10. If you are halfway interesting, don't complain, can write songs, play your instruments, and ENTERTAIN PEOPLE, then you probably don't need Trailer Space anyhow. Thank you for doing what you do.


Jacob, Spot and JJ

1 comment:

  1. This is 666% better than the Thor hippie snob drummer Thor's overrated list of what bands need to do on the road.