Dipshits in Europe

This Holiday Season, while our favorite drinking buddies, The Golden Boys are across the pond, you must ask yourself the same question that all of America is asking.

Where's Wes? Do you have any of HIS records?

"FUCK YOU, YOU'RE A MIDGET...BY CHOICE!"- B.S

Fall in Texas feels like an apology from our great state for the hot, sticky summer. Some of our Boys are finally going there while some of our other Boys are already there. Here in Moscow on the Colorado (thank Cade Callahan for that one) Tons of good records have been coming into the shop, yet we still have “PowerSlave” in the stacks.. Despite our history mocking lack of effort, Trailer Space now has a legitimate reason for a staff meeting. Staff has been told the terms of this meeting. The reader should be glad they don't have to endure such a meeting. After this meeting we will announce some big news that's going to make card carrying humans happy. We're still talking shit on publications poorly fact checked and on the Miami Heat, but Spot and JJ still can't agree on the Lakers (FUCK THE LAKERS. ed) The Hoop brought over a new couch and a bigger TV and Kyle brought us a gamecube. This adds to the shops "dudes getting fucked up in the basement" atmosphere (pics soon)

Other Importances....

We dont really listen to rock music before 7pm these days.

Our friends bands have put out some good records lately.(New John Wesley Coleman, New Dikes of Holland, Followed by Static 7in!)

“Can you get nutrients from smoking food?”

• j.doe.

"It's taxidermy....no really....."

and this happened......

Come see us.

REAL SHIT #7 - CADE CALLAHAN

Cade is rare because he is a NATIVE Austinite. He cares for his fellow drunks and he's always ready with a kind word for EVERY dumb motherfucker in the world. That is becoming rarer and rarer in the world ever since its become cooler to hate shit than like shit. Long live Cade' and thanks in advance for getting us into the Butthole Surfers.

T Ray Benefit Show Report.

The best and the brightest made it out for Travis' benefit show at the shop the other day. Rayon Beach, Naw Dude, Recide, and Dikes of Holland played, the Ideal Soul Mart ran out of beer (no, they never have change either) and a good time was had by all.

Recide tore it up like a proper crew of fast, angry youth. Be on the lookout for these guys.

Travis approved. He and Sheri were super stoked that so many people came out and donated. He was also stoked to finally have continuous access to beer.

Steve and Billy came through in a big way by printing up Shirts and Posters for the event. We still have them at the shop and all proceeds go to T Ray's recovery. We're also leaving the paypal (trailerspace@hotmail.com) open for him for another week or 2.

Thanks again to all involved. It was an outpouring of love for a fallen comrade and a celebration of all things drunk and loud (i.e. all attendees). Good times.

From The Desk of Jacob Schultze - Arbiter of all relevant information pertaining to playing live at Trailer Space.

1. If you need monitors, GO FUCK YOURSELF and quit playing forever, pussy.

2. There are NO. D.I's. for your laptop, keyboard, bass etc. You should really be ashamed of yourself. Refer to rule number 1.

3. If you can do it in your practice space, you can probably do it here, if you cant..REFER TO RULE #1. GIVE UP!!

4. Trailer Space does not care about your perceived cred anymore than a Derfur War orphan would know who Steve Albini is. Get over it. No one cares, LEARN HOW TO COOK.

5. You brought a full stack to play in the record store? REFER TO RULE NUMBER ONE. (Tone matters fuck all when you have cleared the building)

6. Anyone playing a 5 string bass, or a Paul Reed Smith is BANNED. FOREVER. IN PERPETUITY.

7. What is experimental to you has probably been done a million times before. STOP BEING BORING.

8. The minifridge does not have "band beer", in fact, this phenomenon DOES NOT exist at Trailer Space. Go to the RS mart or the Soul Mart and BUY YOUR OWN.

9. Complaining is not ever an option. Shut up and get back in your mom's minivan. Smell the farts of the guy that screams for you or something.

10. If you are halfway interesting, don't complain, can write songs, play your instruments, and ENTERTAIN PEOPLE, then you probably don't need Trailer Space anyhow. Thank you for doing what you do.

LOVE,

Jacob, Spot and JJ

REAL SHIT #6 - M.R. WALKER

Mac. Spiritual Adviser, Poet, Author Showman, Tour Guide, Bodyguard, Gambler, Chef, Electrician, Janitor, Lover. We have all these words to describe Mac, but they can't really tell the whole story. He keeps us fed, drunk and smiling. His devotion to his friends is becoming rarer and rarer to find in people and we here at Trailer Space feel blessed by Mac's presence (ed. note, I really wish he never taught me how to play craps.) He seems to know everything and he loves to share his knowledge and wisdom with the world, and the world is better for it. We will be hosting his book release party at the shop (when he's done writing it) and for pete's sake, don't talk to Mac about Human Centipede.

There's a girl with a crown and a scepter, Who's on WLSD - Wild America tour week 2

Tour moves right along to middle america. Things are a little off there and you don't really know why. The people greet us with open arms and a good time was had by all.

Found this at CaraBar in Columbus, Ohio (Thanks Rob and Cara for getting us there) This smells of Schmitz

This shit is pretty cool between beers 1 and 5. Between beers 7 to 18, shit get's fucking scary dude.

This guy is wearing a prototype for a new Wild America shirt. The board is still out on this one.

Pot Myths, man. Do you know any?

This is Sky Hy. He's a rapper from Atlanta. His beats and rhymes are top notch, as his physique and stage show. (ed. note, go see this guy)

Yup. This was happening in Atlanta as well.

Here is Dugg and Colin "goddamnit" Sherr on the streets of New Orleans, in front of their favorite store.

This is April, she runs a great DIY space in Atlanta called couch couch. She is holding her bong, which is inflatable, and floats in the bathtub.

While in Bloomington, most of the guys learned a funny little card game called "norweigian rodent fuckdown" or something like that. Xian just did this all night.

The cave is Old Man Cave in Columbus. The old man is Josh, First rate dude and great roadie. Happy 30th, ass-blood.

Also in Columbus....

We'll leave you with this picture of Jarvis, wearing glasses.

There it is. Thanks again for all the smoke outs, beers, drinks, hugs, floors, washing machines, fireworks and fun. We got taken care of very well and we're grateful. No shout outs to the haters, thieves and dudes with no guitar straps.

" I hate Grandma, she's a bitch, all she does is suck my dick" - Wild America Tour Report. Week 1

It's summer and Wild America has hit the road to support their debut 7in "The Sea" (Freedom School Records). They're hitting up the midwest and having tons of fun along the way, here's some pictures and stuff from the trip.

This was taken inside of the Famous Lost Cross punk house in Carbondale, Il. Some would say this is an apt description of our band and lifestyles, but NEVER about our scent.

This is the Lost Cross bathroom. Not mild, but definitely BUCK.

This is Milo, he is an adventure dog. There is no way to dispute this fact after you meet him.

This is Jim. He plays guitar in Uh-Oh, a milwaukee band that joined us for 5 dates out of this tour. They are a great band, and we miss them very much. Here we see Jim on the roof of Lost Cross about to swing off of it.

Jim, mid flight.

This guy is hanging up inside the BFG in appleton, wi. Thanks to amos and crew for letting us bend the rules and play, despite our status.

I never expected to walk into Extreme Noise records and see dumbest sign, for the most useless bullshit on the entire planet. Punk isn't dead, it just fucking sucks.

This was our view out of one of the MANY windows inside the IMPOSSIBLY HUGE Lucky Gator Loft in Chicago. Headless statue had it coming. Mouthy statues get dead. 

Big thanks to everyone that's put us up, smoked us out, didn't mind when one of us (ed. note, me) said weird shit to your girlfriend, put up with us being late, loud and drunk, came to the show, or just said some weird funny shit within earshot. Big sorry to all those we've offended by trying to speak in midwestern accents.

"I thrive on instruction" G.L.

Our mild summer is chugging along at a snails pace. You can't sit around critiquing the Chronicle's writers all summer along(ed. note, this is how i spend 15 minutes of my day), so we here at Trailer Space hope your frolicking in some water somewhere, making out with someone cute, or doing something really fun. Just don't get caught.

Fuck man, is it really that bad?

Thanks Mac, inspirational.

We got this in the mail from our good buddy max. We admire the will required to not finish the whole bottle of whiskey and we're ESPECIALLY impressed that he made it all the way to the post office (ed. note, No Trailer Space regular would accomplish all this)

“The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.” - William Butler Yeats

Dog days of summer. The shop is curiously devoid of customers. The sun seems to be too much for Austin at large (despite this being a MILD summer) so the Trailer Space day to day has slowed down to the following:

1. Is soccer on today?

2. Let's blow some shit up with fireworks

3. Who wants to throw in on beer?

4. Oh look, its the crappy band that's playing here tonight.

5. Who wants to throw in on beer?

That's not to say we haven't been having fun. Our friends have been lighting us up with the spark of their wit and the precision and passion they have for killing time. In honor of this, here are a few quotes from some of the best and brightest we've heard this week. Names changed to protect the innocent, bring us some beer and we'll rat them out in a heart beat.

"I'm all about late term abortion. Life doesn't begin until you can shuffle, cut and deal a deck of cards." - Jacob S.

"I can't imagine a vagina being any dryer than it is when it's in our place." - Bill C.

"I have a friend who has the gout right now. He has staph, too." Bryan S.

"People Crazy in Austin. They all drive like they diggin' somethin out they ass." Houston Sid

"Sometimes you have to play hard to get, espicially when you have no lube." Mark R.

"What the fuck is your problem? With all that ORganic food you spend your money on, you better be shitting like a champion!" Matt

"That was the time that I knocked the bumper off that guys car...yeah, fuck that guy." Matt

"I remember this place back in the day, it used to be called "Rat Turds in the Ceiling"." Mark R

“A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane, and smells like Cheetah” - Ronald Regan

all photos by the daring Renate Winter

Call your momma, Call your pa. FUCKIN SCHOOLEY, FOLLOWED BY STATIC AND THE HIPPIE ARE PLAYIN TONIGHT.

Shawn David McMillen and John FUCKIN' Schooley. UNDENIABLE talent. Questionable facial hair.

Followed By Static was up first.

They we're givin' it all they got.

These guys are also givin' it all they got.

The Crowd was on fire.

Smiles all around (thats the girl that took these photos )

These guys were sitting there, smoking. Taking it all in.

Fuckin Hippie with his hippie ass shit.

Shawn played with this guy, the set was folky, moody and really, really good.

...and we close with this accordion player.

"I'm a normal guy, sexually, but I'm not afraid of a little kink" - Mac

That really says it all right there. Casual world cup fever has hit Trailer Space, we need something to jabber on about while waiting for the finals (FUCK THE LAKERS -ed. Fuck you man, Lakers are gonna win tomorrow -Spot) and since it's hot, we don't have as many crusties and hippies to make fun of as they walk by. Harrassing pedestrians aside, we're still drinking.

p.s Paul Pierce, why you look so stupid all the damn time?

“because the reality of things going on around me is more interesting than the fantasies of the world I work in.” - Dennis Hopper R.I.P

Summer around Trailer Space involves a whole hell of alot of yelling. JJ is yelling "FUCK THE LAKERS" Spot is yelling "BALL SUCKING LITTLE WEASEL" at all the ball sucking little weasels that come in and around here and everyone else is yelling about how hot it is. This is a good thing, everyone needs a good yell every here and there and why not get your yell on during summer. Summer in Austin in a sweaty, swampy mess of too much fun, mixed in with too much everything else. We say enjoy the hell out of it. The fellow above get's his yell on. Trust us. We've seen it.

BENEFIT SHOW NIGHT 1 REPORT

all photos by the lovely Renate Winter

We love shenanigans here at the shop, in an effort to corrupt youth and increase the discomfort of others, the shop has decided to do a 2 day benefit show to bring Spot's kids to Austin for a few weeks this summer. For those of you lucky enough to see the 2 hellions in action last year, you will be pleased to know that a year and some puberty has done well for the boys and they are slowly becoming fucked up young men. For those who haven't met Taylor and Tanner, be warned, and don't get mad if they tell you to do something nasty with your lady, you know you were already thinking about doing it before they said it. Here's a photo report from night 1.

HOLY SHIT MAN IT'S BENEFIT SHOW DAY

John and Single Guy, reminiscing about the past. Or making fun of a punk in the present?

A Giant Dog was up first

They were giving it all they got. BUHLEEDAT.

Kenna is the best person. She's also really good and getting cheapskates to give up the cash.

Followed by Static was next, let by living legend, Eric Static

They're no slouches when it comes to Rock and Roll. Though we've slouched with Eric plenty.

It's all about the love tonight.

This is probably the only photographic evidence of Brian Schmitz smiling in public.

STRAIGHT LAKIN' IT (ps. James Arthur, you owe us a visit)

Wild America was doin they thing.

Nay Nay did his thing, singing his new song like a champ.

Golden Boys finished it up in typical drunken super fun fashion. PROTIP- Don't have these guys close the show if you have to finish at a certain time.

It was a great night. Thanks to all the bands for playing, and big thanks to everyone who opened up their hearts and wallets for our little fundraiser. We understand that times are hard on everyone and the fact that our friends are willing to dig into their already shallow pockets for us is flattering and makes us feel insanely fortunate. Thanks again and we hope to see you again at the next one!